We are all striving for a sense of belonging. Acknowledgement. To inhabit our rightful space.
When the space we own as a birthright is intruded upon, we can accommodate that or we can ask for our space back.
Someone might borrow space for a bit; a soft place to land, and then they are on their way. Some people take and they are so hungry they never stop taking. I have borrowed space and I have taken space. I have been in relationship with both. We are all of these.
I say things that are hard to hear;
hard to understand. I have learned to swear too much, in fighting for my rightful space; just maintaining my little spot. I wonder why I feel I need to clutch those vigorous words, and then I see how it keeps people from thinking I’m “just so.” We elevate those that appear “just so.” I do not want to be elevated. The higher one stands, something about falling…
And so it works. From behind a prickly defense, my messaging is all love. Sometimes it’s expansive. But I’m not just so, and that keeps me safe. I’m not anyone’s dolly.
We are not invisible to one another.
I see people when they turn away. We come and we go. But I see. And I love.
I am not a “just so” human. And I don’t have the energy to pretend.
What is altruism? Selfishly fighting through aggressive dogma that is too hungry, to make a nicer reality for me. My kids. My everyone. Expansive. I ask for us to give things back. Sometimes I have to give things back.
How does your insecurity affect who you turn away from?
I am saying:
Our insecurity turns us away from others.
When we are uncertain or we are made uncertain, we protect ourselves. We hide behind. We make an other. Another other.
We make segmented belonging. We are all striving for a sense of belonging. How many good things lie on the other side of pride, rhetoric, and imaginary dogma?
Artifacts of a very old, highly reactive mammalian defense system. Old, dusty neurons. Unconscious. Laying down pain.
What is altruism? Can we build something? What if we just said, “I’ve got you,” more often? What if we said, “Tell me more,” more often? What if we said, “Help me understand,” more often. What if we laughed together more, even after a hard thing? What if we just said, very gently, every so often, “I see you.”
I see you. I’ve got you. Have you got me?