There are a few things our children need to hear, at least a thousand times, before they leave the relatively protected ecosystem of the home and enter the slippery world of adolescence; such as:
I trust you.
I believe you.
I believe in you.
I adore you.
You are a good person.
We all make mistakes.
It is ok.
I am here for you.
Thank you for telling me.
I’m glad you listened to yourself just now.
Please sit with me and drink a glass of water.
It is time to rest now.
I’m sorry you had a hard time with that today.
I’m sorry I did not handle that very well.
Let’s try again, I know we can do it better.
You are not in trouble, it’s ok. I am here to help you figure out what to do next.
And, there are a number of questions our children need to hear, a number of times, before they are adrift on the tumult of a life well lived; such as:
What do you think about this?
What could you have done differently?
What could I have done differently?
What do you need right now?
What would you like to see change?
How can you repair this?
Is there anything I can do to help?
What does your heart tell you about this?
What do other parts of you have to say about this?
Now, say them to yourself. A hundred times or more. Wrap yourself up in loving kindness, and say them to yourself.