Life is feeling different. Rolling and rolling, gently, through so much change. Not change, like money, because that would be awesome.
Today is the day after mother’s day. It is Monday. I went to work for a short bit, taught toddler yoga, made my brain organize itself by doing some counting and order-type tasks, and soothed a fat crop of feelings. I have very fat feelings…robust, and sweet, and spicy, and plentiful.
I came home and moved our four little chicks out of the house, to their new and larger housing. Ryan built them a swanky little spot inside the greenhouse. They are out there fighting over every little piece of debris they can find. I love watching their primitive ways, fierce even as babies.
Now, I have to do boring things. The borings. So boring. Necessary. Logically, I’m writing instead. I will soon get to the borings.
First, a share. This is, after all, a sharing tool. Today, something simple—my thoughts about loving kindness.
Loving kindness is my sturdy boat these days. This does not mean I am walking around gooey and sticky and smiling. It means I am holding my own, and looking outside of mine, to see yours, which makes all the hard parts “ours.” And then? I feel better—softer, steadier.
I am holding my feels in one hand, and feeling them. I am holding curiosity about others, or at least a measure of grace, in the other. My mind is the bridge, and I am standing right on it, and I am making better decisions.
In my mind, in my heart, in my shoes, I have a desire—to be free. Free from the muddy places I’ve let inhabit me, for more of my growing hours. Free from the whims of the dragon inside, and the beating of her wings. Bit by bit, it’s working.
Because I am working. Loving kindness is a method. It’s a practice. It’s not always easy, but it is helpful. For me.
Remarkably, it transforms my fat feelings into something useful, which I can pour down, into the cracks in my foundation. When I can stand more securely, and I do not have to carry the wobbly weight of my own intensity, my days are lighter. My heart is lighter. My family likes me. I like me. (These last parts are truth.)
These days, for me, this fits:
May I be humble. May I be healthy. May I be welcomed. May I know and be love.
May you be humble. May you be healthy. May you be welcomed. May you know and be love.
May we all be humble. May we all be healthy. May we all be welcomed. May we all know and be love.
Mic drop. Holla. Namaste. You pick.
